A. How to Handle the Extreme Conflict of Antagonists

1. Definition: An antagonist is a person who, on the basis of weak or unprovable evidence, goes out of his (or her) way to make unreasonable demands, usually attacking the person or performance of others.

2. How to Identify an Antagonist

a. They are negative, pessimistic and enjoy tearing down others.

b. They are very self-centered and love getting personal attention.

c. They cry out for justice and want “to get even.”

d. They are inflexible, rigid and have unhealthy desires to be precise and extremely accurate.

e. They need to be in authority and make others submit to them.

3. How to Prevent an Antagonist from Coming to Power

a. Always follow established church procedure.

b. Be sure the antagonist, as well as others, knows how to file a complaint in the church.

c. Be sure all positions in the church have a ministry description.

d. Do not let all the power in the church rest in one committee.

e. Use church discipline when necessary, for attitudes as well as actions.

f. Let people know what you are doing before you do it.

g. All the leaders in the church must be united because antagonists thrive on any friction or division.

4. How to Relate to the Antagonist

a. Always act professionally with integrity.

b. Never try to please an antagonist.

c. Always be accurate in your statements.

d. Do not praise the antagonist to get him to like you.

e. Let the leadership know who the antagonists are.

f. Choose your battles wisely because an antagonist will fight every battle.

g. Guard your tongue and attitude when talking to an antagonist.

h. Don’t seek sympathy from others about the abuse you are taking from an antagonist.

i. Never call for a vote of confidence.

j. Don’t recommend counseling to an antagonist.